Lesson Number 3 (Grin and Bare It)

So I have always heard the expression "grin and bare it" but until recently I had never really used it in my life. There have been many uncomfortable positions where I would flee instead of having to deal with the situation at hand, and the truth is, I have no idea as to how the outcome would be if I were to have stayed or not. I look back on those times and realize that something bad may have happened, but something good may have also come out of it. I never got the chance to know. So tonight I decided to be a man and I forced myself to grin and bare through an uncomfortable situation. I guess I wouldn't have done this if it weren't for recent events where I was called out and criticized for being the way I am. I truly am thankful for my friend doing this because I would rather live an unhappy truth, than a happy lie. I came to find that I was not going to be living an unhappy truth though. The truth is, I was always one to play the victim and over-emphasize my emotions into everything I did. This made me look weak and allowed me to pass under the radar of others because they were so annoyed with me that they found it easy to overlook me. So after thinking about those truthful words of wisdom I came into a silent place and prayed this prayer, "Dear Heavenly Father, I come before you with good intentions and with hope that you can forgive me once again. I have allowed my feelings to get in the way of my relationships with those around me. I pray that You give me strength enough to connect with the people that are dearest to me so as to allow growth in any way possible. Father God I pray that you heal this broken heart and mature this child of Yours. Amen." Immediately after praying I returned to face the music so to speak and found that there was nothing to worry about. Nothing bad came out of the events of this night, which made it easier for me to recognize the positive. Instead of my usual bitterness I found a peace had overcome me in a way that I hadn't felt in quite some time. This is just a reminder of the power of prayer. Philippians 4:6

Lesson Number 2

Last night I had a dream about something I had been taught this past summer. It wasn't plain and simple like you may think, but it was definitely a sign of how humanity works. Few people know that I am an avid turtle admirer. Yes, me, it is true haha. Well I'm staying at a friends house for the time being and he owns a turtle (but it's hibernating right now, urghh!). This might sound a bit odd but this is how my dream actually begins.

A group of my school friends and I were all here at my friends' house. Don't ask my why everyone would drive all this way, but the point is, we were all here. It was summer time and we were hanging out, swimming in the pool and playing with the turtle. It was hilarious because in my dream the turtle was acting like the "dog" of the family and was actually playful. So as we're playing with Big Guy (thats his name), one of the people we know from school comes into the backyard and takes him. We all run after him and arrive in the street just in time to see him brutally thrown Big Guy into a gutter and roll into a sewage drain. My friend and I were shocked to see such cruelty but my friend was paralyzed and wouldn't do anything about it. I, on the other hand lifted up the man hole, told my friend to go and get him while I held it and then we saved him. After that I was so furious that I went after the guys who did it while my friend sat back and watched.

Now I have two interpretations of this dream. One would show how humanity has been so twisted that they feel it would be alright to be cruel. Another would be the examination of me and my friend. I was the one that got angry and took revenge against the guy, while my friend sat down and was content with having his pet back. Does my fury make me a bad person in this case? I wouldn't normally think so, but I have come to learn that it is with a heart of God that we begin to forgive and love those around us. As good as it felt to beat the snot out of the guy who did it, it would have felt 10 times better to know that I was acting as Christ would have acted in that situation.

ps: I can name each and every person that was in the dream, I just didn't want to mention names.

Lesson Number 1

There will always be a time in your life when you find a friend that you imagine will be in your life forever. This friend may be male, famale, older, or younger. These things do not matter, what matters is whatever bond you have with that friend. But what happens when this friend shakes things up a bit and you start feeling left behind? Less than a real friend? or worse, sub-human? In my recent experience I have found that I wanted to take the matter into my own hands and rectify the situation. I have come to notice that humanity has a character flaw that pushes us to act in irrational ways. I have labeled this action "Immature Activity." We take action without thinking it through thoroughly and we end up dealing with the consequences in the same way. I was certain that I did not want to do this because the fragility of the situation could have left me with two less friends. So instead of acting I have taken an hour or so out of every night to write out my feelings and prayers. I have down this in my journal, not in blog form. In doing this, I have been able to wipe away my hurt feelings every night and replace them with some happy thoughts. Although those bad feelings seem to return almost regularly every night, I know that through prayer I will be able to rid myself of them. It is through my writing and prayer that I seek something. I seek a solution, but more importantly I seek peace!